What is Self Love and Why is it So Difficult?

We hear about the importance of self love so often. The topic is rampant on social media featuring endless content of people in the gym, meditating, journaling, eating clean, and so on. While these are all forms of self love, I would propose that truly loving oneself can be an even deeper experience. So what is self love and why is it so difficult?

Self love is the understanding of who you are and the valuing of what makes you uniquely you. When you love yourself, you have a high regard for your own beliefs and experiences, and as a result, you are not easily influenced by the opinions of others. You prioritize your own beliefs and values versus the judgments of others.

Loving yourself involves a recognition of your intuition, and trusting it. Someone who loves themself doesn’t dismiss the quiet voice telling them something is not quite right or that they should move in a certain direction. They also take time to be still and hone their intuition, knowing it is spot on and will guide them appropriately always.

Self love is recognizing what makes you happy and releasing what does not. People who love themselves do not stay in unhappy situations. They have the ability to assess where they’re at and move forward accordingly. If a circumstance isn’t aligning, they will remove themselves and go in a direction better suited to their own greater good. They will move forward, trusting that wherever they land will be better, and if it’s not, they know they can make a change easily and swiftly.

Further, people who love themselves do not allow what they’ve already released to come back and hurt them again. They do not give second opportunities for further pain, deception, or wrongdoing. They understand they are not in control of others’ actions, and cannot change anyone else. They are careful with who they allow in their energy sphere. They are not trying to change others but focused on themselves. This is because people who love themselves have a deep understanding that changing another individual is beyond the scope of what they have come into this life to accomplish.

Individuals committed to self love work on themselves daily, investing in themselves, placing time and attention on what fuels them. They decipher between where they feel joy and passion and where they may feel drained or in a lower vibration. They only put energy toward the former, knowing that what gets watered grows.

People who practice self love place high value on themselves, recognizing who they are and what they have to offer. They do not doubt their worth and the value attached to what they have to offer. They speak their truth and do not worry who will judge them for it. Being your true authentic self and not caring what others think is based in self love.

Being driven about what inspires you and then pursuing that passion is self love. Those who self love know what they are passionate about and follow their dreams. Experiencing life to the fullest is paramount for someone who possesses a healthy self love. They are not deterred by others’ negative opinions and thoughts. They understand that jealousy exists but would not allow that negativity to sabotage their dreams.

Those who self love plan for the future. They possess a vision and a belief that what they want they deserve. It is not a delusional or grandiose sense of entitlement but rather an understanding that we all deserve joy, peace, and fulfillment. Individuals with self love not only know they deserve their blessings but believe they are coming. They trust in their vision and belief, and act on it daily. This recipe of vision, belief, action, and trust creates their reality.

Seeing things in a different light, namely that opportunities come from rejection or setbacks is how those with self love view their circumstances. They no longer see difficulties as punishment and they don’t victimize themselves. If something seemingly unfortunate occurs and you view it as an opportunity for growth and a signal that you were headed in the wrong direction, you would no longer need to be a victim. You could instead be grateful for the guidance and the chance to become your highest self. This perspective change is not always easy. It requires a shift in consciousness and a belief in a higher power. It can be comfortable and easier to stay stuck in a victim mentality. It certainly can be familiar if that is how you have always viewed your circumstances and what is familiar is easy. There’s no risk in the familiar. Those with self love do not choose what is familiar but rather take the risk of getting out of their comfort zone.

Not being bitter or callous is another trait of those with self love. They do not let past pain and cruelty of others keep them stuck or allow it to harden their heart. They choose to continue to give love to themselves and to others. By not sitting in past pain, they move forward, healing the hurt and releasing it. This is self love.

Self love is trusting yourself. Having confidence in yourself and knowing that no matter what comes your way, it is for your highest and best good. It is the understanding that the lessons we need to learn will come.  It is the knowing that we can heal, we can put in the work, and we can receive the blessings that are meant for us. Allowing ourselves to feel love, happiness and success, while knowing that we are worthy of this happiness, love, and success no matter what has occurred in the past is self love. While healthy living such as exercise, clean eating, and meditating are vital parts of being in a state of self love, it is also the mindset we live each day which allows us to truly love ourselves and live the abundance that universe desires for us.