Should We Mediate Our Divorce?

One of the most important and commonly asked questions at the onset of a divorce is what is the best way to get divorced. Spouses want to know all of their options. Mediation is a less costly and generally more harmonious choice, especially when compared to going to trial. Whether it is the right choice for your particular situation depends on several factors. While the list below is not exclusive, these are the most predominant considerations, and only you and your spouse know whether mediating your divorce is a possibility.

One consideration which should not be overlooked is timing. If one spouse has recently requested the divorce, it is wise to give the other a cooling off period. Mediation should not be lined up soon after the announcement of the divorce itself. By giving your ex some time to adjust to the idea, you are also increasing your chances for a more successful mediation. Reaching an amicable agreement is easier when both parties are in the appropriate mind set. By not rushing into negotiations, you allow yourself more time to gather the necessary information you will need in order to finalize your divorce. These include documents relating to household expenses, real and personal property, debt, and any other assets you may have. This is also a good time to think about issues involving the children, such as time share.

When contemplating mediation, ask yourself the following questions. If you can answer yes to most of them, mediating your divorce just may be the best option for you and your spouse.

1. Do you both feel the marriage is over?

2. Have you exhausted all avenues in terms of attempts to make the union work, like marital counseling and individual therapy?

3. Would you both agree there was always a sense within the marriage that divorce might be a possibility?

4. Do you both feel neither partner is entirely to blame for the dissolution of the marriage?

5. On some level, do you still trust one another? Do you respect one another?

6. Are their children involved necessitating a relationship beyond the divorce?

7. Is it possible to have a reasonable dialogue with your spouse concerning issues related to the separation without a breakdown in communication or a toxic interchange?

8. Do you feel that each of you are on somewhat equal footing in the relationship as opposed to one spouse being more dominate or powerful?

9. Are both spouses in healthy mental and physical shape?

10. Are both partners similarly aware of the what the marital financial picture looks like?

If you were able to affirmatively answer most of the questions above, mediation may be a viable option for you. Choosing to mediate your divorce has many advantages over traditional litigation. It is less expensive, it is generally a faster process, it allows for more privacy, it is less stressful, and mediation aids in fostering a continuing relationship which is positive for everyone, especially the children, and other family members.

It is important to consult with an attorney in your state before making any final decisions when contemplating a divorce. In the event you choose to mediate, it is recommended an attorney review any settlement to ensure your legal rights have been protected.